I've been having a hard time finding something to write about lately that might actually be interesting. It just seems lately that my life is very dull, or at least it is to write about. Nothing overly exciting happens, well really nothing exciting happens. I have good days; they are usually days when I have nothing to do and I can actually just relax and laze about. But, those days are also very boring. I find myself very upset with myself when I realize all the things I could have donw in the day, like memorize lines, instead of sitting on the computer all day, which is what it seems like I have been doing lately. Not being off book yet for the play is very frustrating. I alwyas say, tomorrow I will work on it, but when tomorrow comes I rarely ever pick up the script. I am a very last minute person, but for this I really shouldn't be last minute. It's coming along slowly, but I get so frustrated with it. I'm not used to be in a full length play anymore, and the bulk of the script is me. Sometimes I wish that I didn't audition, but then I'm reminded that this is part of what comes with the life I want for myself. But, then this whole semester I have been contemplating whether this is really what I want to do with my life. Do I really want to act? Or am I supposed to be doing something else? like camping ministry. It seems that in the past few weeks things have been really pointing to that. Even the lady from Prarie called me last night to see what my plans were and to ask if I had any questions. It just seems like whenever I get furthur with the whole acting thing, camp pops up again. I guess I just feel very lost in it all. I have no idea what is happening, or what will happen and I wish that at least I had somewhat of a stable plan in any aspect or area of my life.
Well that is enough contemplating on life for one night for me. Off to bed.